Serious Suspension

Clifton Suspension Bridge
Isambard Kingdom Brunel

The act of suspension is not as easy as it may seem.

Take Isambard Kingdom Brunel  probably the greatest entrepreneurial engineer ever born in the United Kingdom........ and yet...

Mr Brunel

When it came to holding up his trousers, (pants for my American readers), this superlative engineer had to resort to sticking his hands in his pockets and holding on tight.  If he could only have removed his hands from his pockets, just think what greater engineering exploits this man could have achieved!

The act of 'keeping them up' should not be underestimated and for the more ample gentleman this can be an undeniably difficult trick to pull off.

Of course Superman,  the Man of Steel, uses a belt.  This is all very well for the well honed figure of a super-hero where the waist is both smaller than the chest or hips.  For the larger and often older man, the waist dimension can often exceed the hip measurement.  In such cases and under the influence of belt tension, gravity and the undulating movement of subcutaneous fat excited by walking, the belt can, unbidden, move inexorably south.  Unfortunately in such circumstances the belt takes said trousers with it.  In a public arena, it is hard to retain any sense of dignity with your trousers around your ankles.

The answer to this conundrum is of course 'braces', (suspenders for my American readers), however not ANY braces.  Braces can look cool, I always liked  the way 'Mork' wore them in 'Mork and Mindy' and James Taylor looked great on the Album Cover of 'Mudslide Slim and the Blue Horizon'.

It doesn't look cool when on sitting down the rear clips of your braces detach from your trouser waist band, fly up your back and hit you in the middle of your bald-head.  Only useful if you want to do an impression of Mikhail Gorbachev with his trousers falling down.

Having taken this journey of embarrassment I can confirm it gets a cheap laugh almost every-time but I suggest unlikely to amuse her Majesty if you were receiving a Knighthood!

At this point I wish to declare that I have no connection with any manufacturer or purveyor of braces.

I do however wish to thank Mr Aidan Sweeney for introducing me to and providing me with the BEST braces I have ever possessed plus exceptional customer service!
 
Not once since attaching these Rolls Royce of braces to my trousers have they become detached and the livid marks inflicted upon my forehead by lesser products are healing up nicely.

http://www.aidansweeney.co.uk/products/4-wide-extra-extra-long-extra-strong-trouser-braces