Pescatarian 'Elitist Remoaner' Christmas Lunch in the Backyard

 

Huîtres chaudes - Oysters flash grilled with cream, cheese, garlic and black pepper

 

Fresh salmon roast and lightly hot smoked on the 'roaster-toaster' placed over burning logs in the fire pit.

The roast salmon on a flat bread hot from garden bread oven, with chickpea side and dill mayonnaise-cream dip.

A memorable, if smokey, Christmas lunch in our small backyard. Brilliant Champagne, provided by Jane and Tony, which added classic French 'joie de vivre' to the occasion.

After 11:00pm tonight I guess it's back to 'Boiled Beef and Carrots'. My thanks go to: David, Nigel, Vladimir, Teresa, Boris, Jeremy, The Daily Mail, The Daily Express, the BBC and all those 'True Brits and patriotic Flag Wavers' who made this 'Shit Show' possible.

There will be undoubted winners and losers in this social, political and economic electoral coup by the 'far right'.  In future years, we will be encouraged by 'Old Etonians' and the same newspapers to sanction our Government to remove rights and laws that protect wildlife, the environment and all of us who have insufficient power, money and influence to 'keep the wolf from the door'. Before you buy into this 'headline rhetoric', just take a moment to consider what you still have to lose and how much will be gained by a tiny minority of 'entitled people', at yours and the country's expense.

My final New Year message for all Brexiteers -

 "I hope that, having got what you so desperately wanted and undoubtedly deserve, you take full responsibility for the integral part you played in the process that made this particular dream a reality. It's all your own work, so if things get a bit tricky, don't try to blame either 'Remainers' or 'the Virus'. It's Brexit job done, 'tick in the box', you 'won' and we 'lost'. There, - "I've sucked it up" just like you wanted- so sit back in 2021 and own your work!"

For everyone else -

"Stay safe and may I wish you all a very Happy New Year.

Just Say No

 

'Just Say No' - oil on canvas - George Roberts - 2020. By kind permission of Rachel Roberts

A Merry Christmas to 'Cabine Readers' all around the World

 

2020 has been a very difficult year for almost everyone, but however hard it has been for you, I hope that Christmas brings you, your family and friends some moments of peace, joy and happiness. 

Think of your fellow man

Lend him a helping hand

Put a little love in your heart

You see it's getting late

Oh, please don't hesitate

Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you and me

You just wait and see

Another day goes by

Still the children cry

Put a little love in your heart

If you want the world to know

We won't let hatred grow

Put a little love in your heart

And the world (And the world) will be a better place

All the world (And the world) will be a better place

For you (For you) and me (And me)

You just wait (Just wait) and see, wait and see

Take a good look around

And if you're looking down

Put a little love in your heart

I hope when you decide

Kindness will be your guide

Put a little love in your heart

And the world (And the world) will be a better place

And the world (And the world) will be a better place

For you (For you) and me (And me)

You just wait (Just wait) and see

People now, put a little love in your heart

Each and every day

Put a little love in your heart

There's no other way

Put a little love in your heart

It's up to you

Put a little love in your heart

Come on and

Put a little love in your heart

You've got to

Put a little love in your heart

Songwriters: Jackie De Shannon / Jimmy Holiday / Randy Myers

The Yuletide malt cold smoked salmon.

 

Now this is the finished article and I can tell you that if you could smell it you would want some! It is absolutely delicious, easy to make and less expensive than buying it at the supermarket. I like to imagine it was designed by a Scot to go with malt whisky because it so does! I am thinking of an old friend and colleague from Glasgow whilst I'm writing and if he is reading this - " a Merry Christmas mate and please get in touch it would be good to talk"

Now, as an old architect, how do I know how to cold  smoke salmon and why is it 'cold' smoked. Let me tell you more.

"Once upon a time in the olden days I worked with a 'trout fishing' quantity surveyor named Derek. He very kindly gave me a set of instructions for constructing a 'cold smoker' which included the method for curing and smoking the fish. Derek has sadly gone to the celestial  ' masonic trout lake in the sky' but every time I smoke salmon I think of him. I believe one of the best bits of Christmas is the way that activities you do and the things that you make, remind you of times and people from long ago. When Toot mixes the Christmas cake, we use Grandma Lucy's mixing bowl and once again she is there in the kitchen with us.

So nostalgia aside,  lets deal with hot and cold smoking. It is not rocket science! - which is much more difficult and may involve overlooking the humanitarian crimes of a technically experienced Nazi - a practice difficult for most, other than politicians and other sociopaths! 

 For cold smoking the fish must not exceed 30 degrees centigrade during the whole process. - Simples! 

Remember, before we cold smoke the salmon, we have to cure it.  The smoking process does help to preserve the fish but in this area, and much like the Saturn V rocket, it is the curing that does 'the heavy lifting'.

You might be wondering - what quality of salmon makes the best cold smoked salmon? Many American Internet sites will tell you that previously frozen salmon works fine. I have tried this and it can be used but I think it is texturally wrong, however, you don't need to spend a fortune on fresh wild salmon pulled from a Scottish Loch by Rob Roy. Chilled farmed salmon - descaled, skin on fillets - make brilliant cold smoked salmon and are what I use all the time.

"Now Christmas being Christmas and all Mr. Scrooge", best not to be parsimonious and for the 'Yuletide smoked salmon' I would recommend that, prior to the curing process, you place the fish in a bowl and pour a small glass of malt whisky over it. Leave the fish to marinade for about 30 minutes. If you leave it for longer than half an hour, you risk the the salmon becoming 'pissed' and if sufficiently fresh, dancing out of the bowl and into a brief relationship with the family cat. (See 'give the cat another goldfish')  

A word of warning once the  salmon has been removed from the whisky, resist the temptation to drink the marinade. - Its real fishy!

And so to Stage One -'The Cure' - what does the curing process involve?

Two salmon fillets after 6 hours in the cure mix

• Select a glass or ceramic dish which you will use for the cure. DO NOT USE A METAL DISH AS THIS MAY REACT WITH THE SALT IN THE CURE.
• Mix, in equal measure, salt and brown sugar -. you need enough of this mixture to cover the bottom of the curing dish and also to cover the salmon fillet.
• Add herbs to taste. I use fennel seeds and some chopped fresh fennel leaves.
• Grate the zest from a lemon and add about two full teaspoons  to the cure mixture.
• I usually add a couple twists of cracked black pepper.
• Cover the dish with cling film or something more environmentally sustainable and place in the refrigerator for six hours -  (don't use a goat because, although they are environmentally friendly, they cannot be relied upon to resist the temptation of eating the contents of your fridge or, come to that matter, its operational components).
• The salt and sugar cure mix removes water from the fish so after six hours there will be some liquid, pour this liquid off, reseal the dish and replace in the refrigerator for a further six hours.

Stage Two - 'Washing and Drying' - this stage washes out salt and firms the fish flesh.

The salt and sugar crust being washed from the salmon under running water

• Remove the fish from the refrigerator and the cure mixture.
• Dispense with the cure solution.
• Wash both sides of the fish fillet under running water - in total for at least an hour. The longer you wash it for, the less salty the salmon will taste. The thicker the fillet the longer the wash required. The fish is cured so you can cut a small piece away to eat and test. Remember, if you take your sample from the thinner end of the fish, it will taste less salty than a sample from the thicker end.
• After washing, pat dry with kitchen towel, place on a mesh rack and leave in a dry cool place and dry over night (12 hours).

Stage Three - 'Cold smoking' - this stage adds the lovely smoky flavour. 

Charging the home-made dust holder with a mix of apple-wood and oak dust

Putting the salmon fillets into the smoke chamber

Applying a combustion source to the dust in the smoker fire box

• Source your hardwood dust. I use a mixture of apple wood and oak dust. I buy the apple-wood dust off the internet and my son Andy, being a carpenter, gives me the oak dust. I combine them 50-50 and add a little brown sugar to the mix.
• How you proceed from now depends upon the smoker you have available and on how smoky you like your salmon.
• All your smoker has to do is to enable the dust to burn without flame, enable the smoke from it to remain in contact with the fish and to prevent the temperature of the fish rising above 30 degrees centigrade. Anything extra offered by the smoker may be dismissed as 'fancy-dannery' or 'show-boating'
• I smoke my salmon for about two hours - which does for me rough as I am - "stick another fish up the pipe number one"!
• After smoking, the salmon needs to rest on a rack in a cool space over night (12 hours).
• The fish is now ready to eat. It will keep in a refrigerator for up to 5 days and freezes spectacularly well.
• A good sharp long thin bladed knife is a useful acquisition for creating wafer thin slicers just before you eat.

'Chill' whilst the smoke does its magic - a glass of wine helps the time pass

I hope you decide to give smoking salmon  a try. It is good fun and at the very least will create a strong bond between you and the family cat. Merry Christmas apprentice smokers!

Planets going west

 

The planets Jupiter and Saturn are heading for the closest conjunction since the 1600s. A conjunction is a line of sight phenomena. The orbits of Jupiter and Saturn are in reality separated by a vast distance but occasionally they line up with the Earth and appear to be as one when viewed with the naked eye. They will be at their apparent closest on the 21st of December 2020. These two gas giant planets will provide good views for a few days before and after, so why not have a look? Binoculars or a small telescope will provide even more interesting observations with Jupiter's Galilean Moons being on display. To see this conjunction you will require an unobstructed western horizon. The planets will drop below the horizon and will be unobservable shortly after sunset, so from the UK you need to be ready at about 5:00pm. Take care to wait for the Sun to set before using binoculars or a telescope, otherwise you will PERMANENTLY DAMAGE YOUR EYES and you could lose your sight. 

Barry the Snowman 2020

 

Yesterday in Lowestoft we had our first snow of the year and this morning when I went into the garden I noticed that Ridlington Barry had made a welcome return to his Lowestoft Office. This marks the official beginning of Christmas - the celebrations may commence. 

Like Santa, Barry is not required to wear a mask or socially distance but being a responsible Snowman he is restricting his activities to the garden.

Checking back, I noted that Barry did not make his appearance last year until the 8th of December. He clearly realised that an early appearance in Covid 2020  would cheer us all up!

Nice to see that Barry is a big supporter of vaccination!

“They’ve put ‘nano-bots’ in the Covid Vaccine to control your brain”

When someone you don’t know, posts

that “the Government doesn’t want you to know”.

The next thing they say

more probably than may

be because their facts and tone

were obtained via some 'dickhead with a phone'

Please pause, please don’t despair

and think twice before you share

Be responsible and stay calm

"Warning bullshit can cause us harm"

But if you choose to ignore this fact and engage with this deadly farce

You will be remembered for talking bollocks, possibly posthumously, through your arse.

Anon

Lockdown Christmas can be fun!

 

No 'horrible' virus is going to prevent Papa and Toot from having their extraordinary family around them at Christmas. ( This is so important to us that I've started writing in the third person !) 

As we could not have them all at 'Chimney Pot Cottage' this year we decided to make representative dollies for each and everyone to hang on our tree. Love you all! You know who you are!

Santa, applying the same magic he uses to squeeze down chimneys, has miniaturised and is shown above kicking the crap out of a SARS virus. Go Santa!

Lost Art Treasures N0 12 : 'Astronomer Copernicus or Demonstrations of the Yo-Yo with God'

 

'Astronomer Copernicus - Krakow Yo-Yo Champion 1492 and 1493' oil on canvas by Jan's cousin Matt Matejko

"Copernicus proposed the 'Heliocentric Theory' which  promotes the view that the Earth orbits the Sun. Nowadays, this opinion is disputed all around the world by people on mobile phones and he is best remembered for his prowess with the Yo-Yo". 

The proof of the oven is in the eating

 

Naans from the wood-fired bread oven to accompany cracking good Toot Indian Cuisine

Our first Focaccia from the wood-fired bread oven 

The new doors survived the first firing of the refurbished oven with just a small amount of movement on the inner mild steel skin of the firebox door. 

The oven was originally designed and built as a barbecue grill with the fire underneath the cooking grid. This is not the preferred arrangement for a pizza or bread oven, as with the heat coming from the underneath, there is a tendency for the bottom of the dough to burn before the top is cooked  Having considered the problem, a sheet of 6mm thick mild steel has been ordered from everyone's favourite purveyor of ferrous and nonferrous metals 'Metals 4U', to act as a heat deflector positioned below the refractory fire clay tiles on which the bread dough cooks.  Hopefully this will deliver 'the perfect pizza' on a par with those fantastic pies cooked at  L'Antica Pizzeria da Michele - Naples.

It rained quite heavily yesterday morning. This underlined the requirement for a covered area where fire wood might be stored. So I retrieved my 'Chad Valley' junior boy carpentry outfit from the back of the 'Cabine'  and fashioned one from the bits and pieces of timber left over from previous carpentry garden exploits. See 'abbe laugier primitive hut' - who says a classical education is wasted on the common man!

I also appear to need to buy some more logs!

Anticipating the Yule Log

The Backyard Pizza Oven with its timber door

Since the pizza oven has been insulated, it has been operating at +500 degrees C which makes for 'fine' pizza but has played havoc with the oven and firebox doors.  The timber doors were protected with fire bricks and vermiculite panels but even so on the last firing the the back of the doors nearest the heat were carbonized and required replacement. This week, thermally insulated double skin mild steel doors have been fabricated in the Cabine and installed. Hopefully, these will not require replacement any time soon!

 

The carbonized rear of the old oven door looking like furniture reclaim from Herculaneum

The oven firebox with new thermally insulated twin walled mild steel door

The oven with new thermally insulated twin walled mild steel door

The oven with door removed showing the vermiculite hot tiles and trivet

When we travel to the Berlin Christmas Markets, Toot and I really enjoy eating the flat breads, raclette and fire roast salmon. Of course, if you want to keep the cold out, it pays to accept a glass or two of mulled wine - well it would be rude not to! 

Thanks to 'Covid19' and bloody 'Brexit' the chances of visiting brilliant Berlin this or even next Christmas appear remote. So not to be down hearted, we will reenact the Berlin experience in our backyard. We have raclette cheese in the freezer, plenty of flour and yeast in the pantry, loads of wine courtesy of Aldi, Iceland and Asda, spices from the Orient via Southend and World of Fish Lowestoft will no doubt provide top rate Yuletide salmon.

We have already reinforced the garden 'Chinese twinkly light panorama' - tastefully arranged and RIBA approved. The fire-pit 'roaster toaster' is ready to go for roasting the salmon and the 'pizza oven' is now operational for baking the flat breads. We only need Barry to rock up and take pride of place in his garden office and then Christmas 2020 can commence.

We hate you Covid19 virus but you wont stop us eating molten cheese until we become spleeny and  drinking spicy wine until our baubles drop off. So there you little sub microscopic bugger!

A little bit of rock a long way away - the planet Mars tonight

 

Mars a bright star amongst many stars shining overhead

Mars a tiny speck of rock lost in the vastness of space 

Mars a small world and fellow planet orbiting the Sun.

Mars is a small planet with a diameter approximately twice that of our Moon. It looks so much smaller than the Moon because it is 143 times further away. Conversely, Mars looks much brighter than the stars because it is so much closer than they are. Even small stars are enormous when compared with even the largest of planets. Space is truly vast and much of it is empty perhaps that is why it is called space? If you want to see some more images of Mars follow the link to the Jodrell Plank Observatory.

Credit: All images courtesy of Kurt Thrust at the Jodrell Plank Observatory.

Roaster Toaster going viral

 

We have always enjoyed the Berlin Christmas Markets and in particular the delicious salmon roast over an open fire. Thanks to the rapacious virus Covid 19 we will be unable to visit Germany this Christmas but we are determined to have roast salmon in our garden instead. To this purpose I have been busy at work in the 'Cabine' constructing our own salmon 'Roaster Toaster' to use in concert with a 'Fire pit' newly purchased from China via the 'Bay'. Needless to say, Toot and I are very excited about this Yuletide project but which way should our Christmas Lunch go? - Hot salmon in a bun with dill sauce or hot salmon on a potato rosti ? Either way, I am thinking some raclette cheese, fondue or tartiflette washed down with a glass of mulled wine should have a place in our celebrations. Screw you Covid 19, Johnson and Hancock and your humbug ways.

Conjunction

'Conjunction' digital media George Roberts October 2020

A 'photo mash' of a number of images I have taken this autumn. The planets Saturn and Jupiter were close to the crescent Moon this week, so I took a number of photos out of our bedroom window. I then combined these with an image I captured of the breakwater at Southwold Harbour during 'rough weather'. It has all come together to make a rather dramatic composition!

Something in the air

 

The 'Travellin' Madge' tableau in a jar has had to come out for a 'breath of fresh air' to prevent mould spores spreading across the cactus and succulents. So we decided to repot Madge and then recycle the jar as a home for air plants.

Madge and cactii in their new low humidity home

Air plant is the common name for Tillandsia – a genus of 650 species of perennial flowering plants and evergreens. They belong to the Bromeliaceae family and are mostly found in Mexico and South-Eastern America. Tillandsia gets its common name “air plants” because they do not need soil to grow. They cling on trees, rocks, telephone lines, etc., absorbing nutrients from the air.

"I could get quite 'obsessed ' by collecting and keeping Tillandsia - there are lots of different kinds to acquire, they are inexpensive to buy and can be arranged with and attached to 'objet trouve' including shells and fossils" 

My first three air plants have been 'glue-gunned' to driftwood found and collected on holiday this summer in Northumberland. If you look closely you can also see a pine-cone from the Berlin Botanic Gardens and a fossil coral from Holy Island. I really like collecting and arranging interesting stuff. 

Maybe that's why our house is full of crap!?

My 'Lock down' Brooklyn Sketchbook. - "Memoirs of a curious butterfly."

 

My 'Brooklyn Sketchbook' 2020 is dedicated to the late Travellin' Madge a very fine and eccentric lady - a one off!

On my 70th Birthday in 2019, my lovely girl Lulu gave me a Brooklyn Sketchbook to complete and send  off to the Big Apple. Little did I know that a virulent virus would require 'Lock down' and provide me with time and opportunity to get the job done! Thank you Lulu for a great present and to all my children, gotten children, grand children, family and friends for quite honestly providing everything in our lives that is good and wonderful. The Brooklyn Sketchbook project is both interesting and sort of bonkers all in one 7x5 inch full colour format. My little book now sits on the shelf of a library of sketchbooks somewhere in Brooklyn. It also includes for the 'Sketchbook' touring the United States in a 3 wheeler vehicle, a journey that 'Travelin' Madge would very much have approved of!

            " Some like to watch the horses go around - I like to make marks"

Mars Tonight

Weed

'Rockweed' - digital photograph George Roberts Aug 2020

Rock Pool

'Rockpool' digital photograph - George Roberts

'Marine Springtails' (anurida maritima) - digital photograph - George Roberts 2020

'A crab, two winkles, a limpet that lost it's grip and a small fish in a bucket' - digital photograph - George Roberts August 2020

I do like a rock pool and rock-pooling.

The name of the rose

You may have previously read my blog page about making a quill pen.
Making a Quill Pen from a feather

Well if you want to get 'illuminated' and go full on 'Medieval Monk' then here is how to make your own black manuscript ink.

First you need to locate your nearest oak hedge. Probably best to ask the owner of the hedge if you can search through it and remove about six to eight 'Oak Apples'. (See top image left)

Now Oak Apples are not apples at all but the larval nest of the Oak Gall Wasp. So don't try eating one!

You will also need to source a little Iron (Ferrous) Sulphate and some Gum Arabic powder. Both of these chemicals are readily available for purchase on the Internet.

Health and Safety Alert
Iron sulphate is both poisonous and corrosive so please take care not to get any of these ink ingredients on your skin, swallow them or inhale them. Mask and gloves essential  plus washing hands after use.

Method:

1) Crush and finely shred the oak apples. I used an old coffee grinder. (Wash any equipment extremely well if you intend to use again for normal kitchen activities!)

2)Weigh out 28 grams (1oz) of the ground oak apple powder.

3) Measure  235 ml (half a pint) of cold water.

4) Mix the water and powder and leave to stand for 24 hours. (see middle image left).

5) Strain the liquid through a muslin cloth (or a piece of thick kitchen towel) to remove the bits of powdered oak apple.

6) Measure 14 grams (1/2 oz) of iron sulphate and mix with the strained liquid. The liquid should turn from dark brown to black almost immediately.

7) Mix some gum arabic powder with the liquid to increase its viscosity. (How much is determined by trial and error. So add a little at a time and mix thoroughly).

8) Put the liquid in a jar with a screw top and keep out of the way of children.

You now have a jar of home made ink to use with your quill pen - all just like in the 'good' old days before Internet shopping and hyper consumerism. Enjoy but stay safe - life expectancy wasn't good in the Middle Ages even for cloistered monks! See the film 'The Name of the Rose'.

Boston City Hall

Boston City Hall - Architects Kallmann, McKinnel and Knowles
Noel Michael McKinnell 1935-2020 RIP

Mike McKinnell  a Salford lad, died in March this year of complications resulting from the wretched virus Covid 19. He is a renowned architect in the USA and was my final year tutor and Professor of Architecture at the Manchester University School of Architecture in the early 1970s.  I remember him as a kind and inspirational teacher, generous with his time and modest in his interaction with others. Professor McKinnell was a class act !

Many years after I left University and towards the end of my own architectural career, I visited Boston with my wife. On a very wet evening and after a bowl of delicious chowder at John F Kennedy's favourite restaurant, we  strolled past 'City Hall' bathed in light and thought about my former teacher who had created this massive structure. Boston City Hall is a 'Corbusian' concrete inverted pyramid that both dwarfs and defines the environment in which it sits. How surprising that such a dominant architectural statement should arise from such a quiet and measured man, in a city a continent away from where he was born.

Politicians come and go and more than one passing mayor of Boston has vowed to demolish this 'ugly building', but there it remains uncompromising and excellent in its monumental splendour. Great architecture doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to fulfill its function, be adaptable to changing circumstances and have an honesty that defies time and style. Ticks all the boxes Prof!       

RIP Prof McKinnell and thank you for your assistance in my own architectural journey.

Becoming

'Dragon' digital media - George Roberts - July 2020

Shooting the breeze

"Spider hanging from a thread" digital media - George Roberts - June 2020

If spiders won't chase me

And if arachnids are so great

Why did God give us two legs?

Whilst spiders got eight.

Peep Show

'Mushroom Down'  - installation, drawing and digital imagery - George Roberts June 2020

"When a mushroom falls

A Gnome dies

And in that grim moment

Silence should prevail" 

Cats we have known and loved

'Choux Choux' poster paint on watercolour paper - George Roberts circa 1975

"Of no cat were we fonder

as she purred like a 650 Honda".

Moonlight memories on Meersbrook Road

'Playing cat and mouse' - graphite pencil on watercolour paper - colour added digitally - George Roberts - May 2020

" Bird be up yon wurzel tree"